also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
