Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
