I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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