are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
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We have so much sex to catch up on
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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