I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
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In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
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When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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