Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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