If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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