I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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