How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
