Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
