Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize