He had one of those small greek statue penises
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
