So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
