I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
