I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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