i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
