can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
