Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
