Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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