Will you blow on my dice?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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