why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
