I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
