That's when you crack a 10am beer
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
