Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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