I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Randomize
