Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
