Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
