when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
