Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
