cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I am available for nakedness
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
