Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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