I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
