I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
