Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
