Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
