you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize