I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
