If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
