Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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