I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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