Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
