you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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