So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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