I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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