Cold hands, warm shart.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?