Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
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Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
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I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."