Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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