Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
These tits shall not be calmed
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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