haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
