That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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