your thong is hanging out like whoa
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize