she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
