I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I could make wine with my vomit
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
