Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
