Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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