Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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