I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
