I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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