this boner is exhausting
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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