I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
