Define "chronic" masturbator.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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