who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
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I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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