you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
