i think my mom watched the whole time
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
