My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
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I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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