They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
foreskin is a definite game changer
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
