FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Send help, water and tortillas.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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