so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
