Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
